Using Good Memories and Releasing Violence

Even if you are a reasonable, pleasant soul, anger gives you no chance. Sometimes. The strength of anger is in its impact, and when it hits you suddenly, your sensible self has no chance. You lash out, hurting near and dear.

There's one trick that works for me:
the love-memory trick.
For example, my son, when he was about five or so, irritated me with his constant chatter when I was busy with work. I wanted to hit him hard and make him stop. Then I remembered when he first came into my life, a pink bundle of joy, looking out at the world with teddy eyes. I remembered the first time he smiled, the first time he spoke my name, and a lot of other first times. I also remembered how much we craved for him long before he was born. Then my priorities took a wonderful shift and I stopped work to give him a kiss and play with him. Why am I busy at work? To give my family a great time in the future. So should I sacrifice their immediate pleasures and give them a hard time now? I then realised that my mind had switched to 'reasonable' mode, at which I was comfortable.
When little ones make you mad, another trick is

love-battle.
Hug them hard and cover them with kisses and tickles. This fools your anger instead of fueling it. The neccessary violence is released for the anger to work itself off. But it is only violent hugging and kissing! Love will take over and care of everything.
This works for romantic relationships too. The anger transforms to passion and all is cool!

Wishing you the best of relationships!