Using Good Memories and Releasing Violence
Even
if you are a reasonable, pleasant soul, anger gives you no chance.
Sometimes. The strength of anger is in its impact, and when it hits you
suddenly, your sensible self has no chance. You lash out, hurting near
and dear.
There's one trick that works for me:
the love-memory trick.
For
example, my son, when he was about five or so, irritated me with his
constant chatter when I was busy with work. I wanted to hit him hard and
make him stop. Then I remembered when he first came into my life, a
pink bundle of joy, looking out at the world with teddy eyes. I
remembered the first time he smiled, the first time he spoke my name,
and a lot of other first times. I also remembered how much we craved for
him long before he was born. Then my priorities took a wonderful shift
and I stopped work to give him a kiss and play with him. Why am I busy
at work? To give my family a great time in the future. So should I
sacrifice their immediate pleasures and give them a hard time now? I
then realised that my mind had switched to 'reasonable' mode, at which I
was comfortable.
When little ones make you mad, another trick is
love-battle.
Hug
them hard and cover them with kisses and tickles. This fools your anger
instead of fueling it. The neccessary violence is released for the
anger to work itself off. But it is only violent hugging and kissing!
Love will take over and care of everything.
This works for romantic relationships too. The anger transforms to passion and all is cool!
Wishing you the best of relationships!
